Jan 092017
 

Guess what this book is about?

Yes, Rosie Swale Pope really did run around the world, alone, on a continuous journey – including through Siberia, Alaska, and Greenland during the winters! It took her five years and 53 pairs of shoes, and when she was finished, she was 61 years old. She is my new hero.

On her 32,000 km run, she was “followed by wolves, knocked down by a bus, confronted by bears, chased by a naked man with a gun, and stranded with severe frostbite” – plus suffer broken ribs twice (and kept running), was stuck in an Arctic snowstorm for days, and had many more unique and even bizarre experiences. Hers is truly an amazing accomplishment.

Then, when I looked her up online, it looks like TODAY, like January 9th, 2017, she finished her run across the United States, from New York to San Francisco. If that’s right (and it’s not just some weird internet auto-date thing), then what a cool coincidence!

What I thought while reading this book (other than she’s amazing, of course):

Here again is the recurring evidence of the value of dividing big goals into small tasks. Some days, it’s run 20 km, some days it’s a struggle to go 100 meters. Yes, she had days like that. And she kept going, one day at a time, 100 meters at a time, until she accomplished her goal.

But even more impactful to me, I thought about how we limit ourselves. Our goals usually run to paths that are far more trodden than Rosie Swale Pope’s. The sad thing is, even if we want to run the road less travelled, the specific idea of what “our thing” is, may not even cross our minds.

Our first limitation is our thoughts.

I may not want to run around the world – so what do I want to do that I haven’t thought of yet, simply because my thinking is limited?

That question is for all of us.

What great things can we all individually accomplish if we allow our imaginations to fly to the “impossible” and then, 100 meters at a time, turn that dream into “possible” and then reality?

That’s worth some thought.

 

Jan 042017
 

I heard of the Law of Diminishing Intent a few days ago, and my first thought was, “Wow. There’s an actual law for this?”

Yes. Yes, there is. This is the principle behind it:

We have a great new book idea that is going to change the world. It’s important, it’s beautiful, it’s simply amazing…

OR

We’re going to get healthy. We are going to exercise and eat organic and look fantastic…

OR

We’re going to learn to speak Spanish and then immerse ourselves in the warm and welcoming culture of Colombia on an epic adventure …

OR

Insert your AMAZING GOAL here!

And then with every passing hour, as our usual lives continue to simply be our usual lives – kids need rides, jobs need worked, the TV shows we’re invested in need to be watched, supper needs to be cooked (and it’s delish, so why not take seconds) – the Law of Diminishing Returns kicks in. As we put off our AMAZING GOAL to do our usual activities, our vision and intent – once so sharp and exciting – starts to fade. Our goal eventually becomes something we need to get around to doing, and then we never get around to doing it, even eventually.

We’ve all felt it. We’ve all done it. There’s no shame in it. It’s a normal human response and I’m sure there was some survival value to the tendency to not shake things up if they seemed to be working just fine. BUT we may want this dream to become a reality, and the way I see it, being forewarned that the Law of Diminishing Intent is an obstacle to us all is the same as being forearmed.

Here is a way that I think we can avoid the Law of Diminishing Intent:

1. An hour after we decide to act upon our AMAZING GOAL – which still gives us time to feel the uncomplicated joy – set aside the time we’ll need to accomplish this goal! Literally schedule it in. One hour after supper. Fifteen minutes in the morning. Whatever works for us.

2. As we continue to think about our AMAZING GOAL, adjust it. Because its so new and unformed it may change quite a bit before our first scheduled session. We may even decide it isn’t an AMAZING GOAL after all, and drop it. That’s okay.

3. During our first AMAZING GOAL session, set up the things needed to accomplish our goal. A gym membership? A computer language program? Maybe it’s simply time to work on it, as with writing a book. In that case, prepare our document, and start writing.

4. During our second AMAZING GOAL session, work on our AMAZING GOAL, and for every session after that. If our AMAZING GOAL is ongoing throughout the day, like the goal of becoming healthier, we can use our session to analyze our progress. Either pat ourselves on the back repeatedly, or assess where we didn’t do as well as we hoped, and figure out why and how to change that – without condemnation and shaming ourselves of course. We want our AMAZING GOAL to improve our lives, not make us miserable. Which brings us to…

5. Keep our AMAZING GOAL sessions positive! Be our own best friend. Encourage ourselves. And if we have supportive people in our lives, tell them our AMAZING GOAL so they can support us too.

6. And finally, keep our AMAZING GOAL sessions fresh. If we ever go into our session without feeling the joy, give ourselves another related task that promotes our AMAZING GOAL in a non-direct way. Some examples: Learning Spanish: find a Spanish speaking TV show and give it a try. Writing a book: write a bizarre but fun scene with our characters that we would never put in our book. Better Health: read inspiring stories of others who have accomplished great feats, whether it’s overcoming health problems or running around the world. See what I mean? Nose-to-the-grindstone is not always the fastest way to accomplish anything, and self compassion and forgiveness go a long, long way. We are not machines!

I’m sure there are lots of other ways to overcome the Law of Diminishing Intent. I’d love to hear your ideas – and implement them!

Dec 052016
 

frodoI’ve been wanting to read Eat Pray Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert for ages, and yet it sat by my bedside table for far longer than I care to admit, mainly because I’d seen the movie and so it was hard to justify the time to read it as well. Thank you “42 books” goal for that justification!

I have now read it, and I must say that I absolutely adored it! Elizabeth Gilbert’s emotional honesty is inspiring, her journey is heartfelt, and third, the woman can WRITE!

Fourth, and best of all, some things that didn’t make a lot of sense in the movie finally made complete sense, including the romance at the end. In the movie, I wondered why they had to add a romance to a perfectly good adventure, as if someone thought that was the only way a “woman’s” movie could possibly end. However, the book explained it very well. The last challenge for Elizabeth to fully heal after a devastating divorce was to prove to herself that she could be in a new romantic relationship and not lose herself.

I know from experience that it’s very hard to write a good script from an existing book, especially when (as in the case of Eat Pray Love) so much of the story’s power is expressed through the protagonist’s thoughts. You can’t put a thought on a screen, and unfortunately, what you put on instead sometimes doesn’t carry the same emotional integrity. As an aside, if you’ve ever wondered at the process that a lot of script writers and a growing number of novelists use to create their stories, click here: The Simplest Tool for Fast, Fun Screenwriting.

What I thought about while reading this book:

I CAN DO THIS!

Yes, I can eat, pray, and love, but that’s not what I mean. It has been a long-time dream of mine to be a nomad, and as I vicariously enjoyed Elizabeth Gilbert’s journey, I gathered an even stronger belief that I too can travel, learn, explore – when the time is right of course.

To repeat one of my favourite quotes:

It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.

~ J.R.R. Tolkein, Lord of the Rings.

I look at this as a promise. Maybe that’s why I take my passport with me everywhere, even if I’m just going to the grocery store or to pick up the mail. One of these days, me and my “company of adventurers” will simply sweep away on our own mega-adventure. 🙂

When we do, I’ll keep an account of my travels here. I promise.

Jan 162016
 

AvatarThis is my avatar on a site I share with writing friends. A while back, I changed my hair from brown to purple, just having fun, and then the jokes started about the power of the hair. Well, this week the purple hair feels limp and faded. “Bad” stuff has happened, but because of my commitment to live as if all things are possible, I did my best to embrace the experience.

My theory for this choice: if I fully feel my sadness instead of trying to force it into becoming happiness, and feel the loss and betrayal instead of trying to deny it, then I’ll move through the emotional shock faster. This meant no hiding from the sadness, no making futile efforts to make things appear better than they are, no pretending that the situation isn’t serious, plus accepting that my relationship with someone I love may never recover. It was (is) hard. I felt old and tired, beaten and dejected, like a big lump sluffing around. Believe me, it was uglier than it even sounds.

However, by yesterday morning, it seemed like I may have chosen wisely. I felt lighter and slightly more energized than the days before. I was still really sad, but still, life seemed a touch sunnier.

Then today, after encouragement from my husband and friends, I went for a walk in the rain – and had an epiphany. This is it:

When things get tough like this, I need to remember to set my own value and not react to the value others put on me. I need to treat myself kindly and take care of myself psychologically, spiritually, and physically, to keep myself strong during challenging times. Just as important, I need to do if for the right reason. If I try to patch up my psyche just so I can be of further use to others, I’ll always be weaker than if I do it out of self respect and self care.

And finally, I need to remember that I may never have a good relationship with this person – because she chooses her own value and her own life path. She may never accept me. Her choices are hers, mine are mine, and our individual value is not determined by anyone but ourselves. While it really hurts to think she may never want me in her life, her choice is not a statement on who I am.

Since I choose my own value, I’ll try to see myself honestly as I work to be my best self – and maintain that bright, shiny purple hair, of course – even when things get tough. Fingers crossed.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

I am living this year with the view that ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE. What this year may include: growth in living without past resentments and programing, overcoming fears, achieving career goals, developing stronger, more loving relationships, and acting with more open kindness (click here to read an amazing true story of kindness). You have just read my Week 7.  Thank you!