Week Six

First of all, my apologies and thank you to those who let me know you were unable to comment on my blog posts. The problem is now fixed (I think). 🙂

Second, so many of my thoughts, perceptions, and long held beliefs seem to be in motion right now. If you can bear the rambling, here’s a snapshot of my last two weeks.

braceletpileIt all started with a bracelet for Christmas like the ones in the photo. My inspiring words are: “Make It So”. I thought over the next few days, why did I choose that saying? Other than the fact that it’s cool because of Captain Picard, of course. Anyway, I couldn’t seem to answer the question, or the ones that followed. How much of what I experience in life is me “making things so”? How much is others making things so? What should that balance ultimately be?

From there, I moved on to wondering if life is not as much about making things so, as it is about making the most of what is so. Not passivity, but complete faith; what is here, is good or for my good. In that case, it isn’t me making it so. It’s the unifying force, God, the universe, the Great Spirit – I can’t list all the names here but you know who I mean. While I mused on active faith, the idea of “making it so” myself seemed not only limiting, but even somewhat tacky.

Then I watched the movie “Pawn Sacrifice”, a movie about Bobby Fischer. One line at the end stuck to my psyche like glue: when Bobby Fischer (played by Tobey Maguire) says, “chess is a game of unlimited options, but there’s only one right move.” Whoa! I thought, but my thoughts didn’t obey. Off they went… Is that true of life as well? Is there only one right move in each unique situation? And if so, how do I discern which one move out of unlimited options?

Then, a day later, after a conversation about personal responsibility with a very smart woman: what am I actually responsible for when it comes to other people? And if I am responsible for others, how much responsibility do I have? How do I judge how much to give and how much to keep back so all benefit the most? Gut feeling? A theology? Advice from others? And another biggie with responsibility: how do I see true need in others and not be fooled into feeding their pathologies, or mine for that matter? My head was really hurting by then.

And then something happened. All the thoughts pulled together into something bigger than all of them, something I can barely put into words at this point. In fact, I’m hoping that the act of writing it here makes it clearer in my own mind.  The thought was…

I don’t need to worry about making anything so, nor do I need to make the most of whatever comes my way. Searching for that one right move among unlimited options is a waste of energy. Responsibility to ourselves and others in every situation can’t be covered by any rules.

Yet, at the same time, the opposite is true too. I can make it so. I can make the best of what life gives me. I can find that one right move and accept the perfect amount of responsibility. And the best thing is I can do them all by doing one thing – by living as powerfully as I can in each moment. By powerfully, I don’t mean the power of the ego; I mean a much deeper power, the power of the heart, the power of my inner guidance, the part of me that’s connected to spirit.

Because I’m basically a normal person (or at least as normal as a human can get), and I feel this inner guidance in myself, I believe that everyone who desires a meaningful life also has that inborn sense of what their every moment calls for. I also believe that we all naturally follow that voice to an extent, and when we don’t, we feel disappointed in ourselves. And no wonder. We can be so much. Examples abound of those who followed their guidance to greatness. They’re the giants among us. The ones who inspire us, the ones we go to to seek wisdom and understanding. They are the leaders and heroes that we never forget, though some lived thousands of years ago.

But I too have the capacity of living powerfully, in every moment. You do too. We all do – but I’m not going to speak for anyone else here. What I need to learn to do: stop worrying about the details. Keep connected. Live powerfully. Every moment that I do that, the world is a tiny bit better. Every moment I stand up and live by the code written in my heart, I am a success.

It’s that simple – and that hard.

Posted in Living As If All Things Are Possible, Random Thoughts, Reflections and tagged , , , , , , .

2 Comments

  1. Hi Angela.

    Interesting that you are working through all these philosophical questions. Regarding making the “right” choice, I liked this: When there is a fork in the road, take it.

    Further, you ever meet Andrew Dadswell’s grampa Will? A very charming gentleman. Once I asked him if I could look forward to a time where I stopped making mistakes, and he said no, but to recognize we do all the time, until we are dead, is to be at peace with our human-ness our frailties. From Veronica, looking fwd to doggie time.

    • No, I never did meet Will, which was obviously my loss. He sounds like a wise person. Also, I love your “right choice” quote. 🙂

      Thanks so much for sharing!

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